Raven eyed Jennifer warily. She put on her best friendly face and smiled at her while she looked her up and down. Brand name jacket. Probably cost a hundred dollars. She tried not to sneer. "So where do you live?" Jennifer asked. Raven knew the question was coming. It always did. She still didn't have any good answers. She had always tried hard to brush people off before they got the chance to ask. "Around." She raced to find a better answer. She expected a press to be more specific. Jennifer looked at her a little too intensely. "You're homeless." She didn't make any pretense of it being a question. "Uh... yeah. Actually." So much for expectations again. "So where do you live?" The question took on entirely new meaning. "There's a burned out church around the corner. There's an old storeroom that's usually open. There. I have a net hammock in my bag. When the weather's good, I can hide myself in a tree in the woods in the park uptown, you know the one that the city can never find the money to improve? There. You know the golf course on 16th? The sand traps hold the heat, and the range doesn't open until 9. If you're out with the sun, nobody ever sees you. So there, sometimes. Winter just sucks, but there's a bridge that has enough of an overhang that you can keep the rain out if you're clever. There, when I have to." She didn't mention the endless shelters. "And just about anywhere with woods, really." She wasn't sure whether she was trying to impress, scare or bore Jennifer. "Wow. I see that church every day on my way to school. Dad said it was arson. It always gives me the creeps just a little." "Yeah, probably was." Raven liked the church, and thought it was a lot less creepy than churches still operating. "What's it like inside?" "Mostly burned out. A couple of pews still. I mostly stay in the store-room." Any place warm and dry. Jennifer nodded. "Let's go there!" What? Raven wasn't ready for anything like that. She panicked for a moment, took another drag off of her cigarette and tried to fight back the panic inside. "Okay," she said. What the hell was she doing? She'd only ever taken one person back to one of her hiding spots, and that had been a complete disaster. Of course in hindsight, she thought to herself, it had been a disaster from the start, and the first mistake was not showing him around. Maybe it would be different with Jennifer. She wasn't sure why she liked Jennifer. She was so plain, in that rich-kid sort of way. Everything was predictable, even if there were a hundred brands of clothes to choose from, they all looked about the same. Raven shook her head and got her pride out. She stood up in her tall, pink dreadlocked glory and shook the bits of grass off of her ratty jeans. She hauled the backpack up onto her back. She kicked the board up into her hands. She kicked the drama up a notch and shook her head, her long dreads swinging around dramatically. "Let's go!" Jennifer laughed. "Alright!" Laughter was good. Raven skated most of the way, half impressed that Jennifer could keep up without breaking a jog. The church had a steel fence around it, and Raven got off her skateboard and walked down the alley along the fence for a stretch. Jennifer followed, less enthusiastically than before. Raven found the spot that had been clipped out of the fence and ducked through. "Come on!" "Are you sure this is okay?" "Yeah, come on. If you look like you don't belong here, people ask questions. Come on!" Raven remembered why she didn't make friends with rich kids very often. No sense of adventure. Jennifer ducked under the wire and Raven pulled her around the back of the building. The church was a large, old building. She wasn't sure whether it was Catholic or Baptist. The sanctuary was a burned-out shell, a couple of pews left intact, and the arching ceiling mostly present, though a few holes left shafts of light pouring into the room. "Is this safe?" Jennifer asked. "Probably not." Raven rarely did things that were safe. They stepped over charred remainders of furniture. "I think I recognize this place. This was a Catholic church, wasn't it?" Raven shrugged. "I came here when I was little. My grandparents are catholic, and they'd make us go to church sometimes. I tbink this is where they went, before it burned." Raven stepped through the doorway into the back of the church. The evidence of wood and paneling and formality fell away, and they found themselves in a relatively intact office. There were two parts of a pew, burned at one end stacked up against the wall. Raven pushed one aside and revealed a small door. She opened it and the door swung into a tiny, dark store room. There were a pile of blankets on the floor, and it was dry. "Home sweet home." Raven tried to sound nonplussed. She actually liked the space a lot. When she wasn't in and out of the woods, she really liked it here, and so far, nobody else had discovered the store room. She'd found it entirely empty, and had made a sort of nest over the next week as she acquired blankets. She'd traded some glass beads she had for one of them, and a pack of cigarettes for another. Jennifer stepped inside the little room, and Raven ducked and twisted a little to get inside with her backpack on. "Wow. It's tiny." Jennifer couldn't quite stand up, and Raven was taller than she, but was already sitting on the floor cross-legged. Jennifer took the hint and did so too. "You really live here?" Raven shrugged. "As much as I live anywhere." She thought of this as her home, but she tried not to get too attached. Some day I'm going to come in here and find heroin needles and I'll know it's no good, she thought. Fucking Junkies. "Yeah. That's sad," said Jennifer. I'm sure you think so. Raven thought about how to squash that thought. She hated pity. She hated pity more than just about anything. She kicked the door shut. "Hey!" Jennifer sounded a little frightened. "Boo!" Raven tried not to sound too sarcastic. "Scare you?" ".. A little." Jennifer sounded more than a little frightened now. Raven reached into her backpack and pulled out a matchbook. She struck one of the matches and Jennifer startled at the noise. She sputtered a little at the smell in the tight quarters. She held the match low so it cast long shadows over her face. "Oooooo" Jennifer shrieked and kicked the door open. Raven blew out the match. Shit. Too much. I always do this. "Sorry." "It's okay." Jennifer breathed hard for a moment, then relaxed. "Sssh." Jennifer cocked her head to one side, listening. Raven did too. "What's that noise?" Raven heard a few muffled words. "The stuff." "That much?" "No way." "Fuck you." She crawled out of the door and peered around the office door and into the burned out sanctuary of the church. Two men were standing there, arguing. She pulled back toward Jennifer. "Sssh. Drug deal. Shit." They sat and listened for a few moments. In a hushed whisper, Raven said "This isn't the first time here. It's usually okay here, and it's a pretty out of the way place. But sometimes bigger deals go down here, 'cause nobody watches this building." There were sounds of a struggle for a moment, and then a muffled whack. Raven peered around the wall again. There was a man lying on the floor in a heap. "Shit. I think the dealer just got knocked out." She inwardly thought it was probably good. It meant more drug deals were probably not on the way here, and it might keep her hiding place out of sight a while longer. She looked again and saw the other man stepping out the door of the church. He looked homeless and very thin. He had a paper bag, obviously heavy. Something glassy sounded as he moved it, as if it were full of glass bottles. He counted whatever it was in the bag and grinned and ran out of the church. Raven didn't like the look of him when he grinned. She turned back around and nearly pushed Jennifer over, she'd come up next to her to look. Jennifer bit her lip. "Heroin." "Whoa, how do you know that?" Raven looked at Jennifer again. Expectations. "My uncle is a total junkie. He used to buy stuff on the street like that. Spent everything and more. He stole money from my dad to pay for it. He used to watch us kids, and then some guy would show up and he'd buy it. Right there in our house in front of us." "Wow. Okay, you are so not like what I expected." Raven was still watching her incredulously. Jennifer grinned. The dealer groaned and moved a little. Raven thought she saw a gun. The last thing she wanted was to be shot at by an angry drug dealer who'd just been jumped. She grabbed Jennifer and pulled her back into the store room. Jennifer was still watching out the door, and Raven grabbed her and shut the door as firmly as she could without making noise. She turned and leaned against it. The room was very dark with the door shut, and they were both breathing hard. They listened, and heard nothing for a moment. Then a string of loud curses, and the half-present door on the front of the church slammed. Raven realized she was holding her breath while she listened. She let it out explosively. She reached for her pack, groping along the floor. She couldn't remember which corner she'd left it in. jjj "Let me find a light." She moved her hand along the wall and put her hand directly on Jennifer's thigh. Jennifer jumped. "Sorry!" Raven tried to reach over her for her pack. Jennifer touched her hand. "Don't be." Raven froze, trying to interpret what she meant. "I liked it." Raven seized up completely. "And I like you." Raven withdrew and sat against the wall, pulled the light out of her pack and turned it on. "Did I say something wrong?" "No." I like her, Raven thought. "I just..." Jennifer watched her carefully. "I'm scared, okay?" Jennifer nodded. "I've never really been close to someone before. You scare me. I can't push you away. I want to run screaming at you, terrify you, and I don't want you to leave." A tear ran down her cheek. "Damnit, and now I'm crying." Jennifer bit her lip and pulled a tissue out of her pocket and reached for Raven's face. Raven jumped, covering her face and hit Jennifer's arm aside. Whoa, shit. What did I just do? Jennifer pulled her arm away. Raven fought down panic. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" The tears started flowing faster. "Whoa. It's okay. You scared me." Jennifer's voice was trembling almost as much as Raven's. "I.. I'm" Raven stifled a sob. "I'm sorry. I thought you were going to hit me. Fucking reflex." "Who was it?" Blackness. Concentrate on the blackness. Take a breath. Raven tried not to feel the fist hitting her face again and again. She pulled her arms around her knees and rocked. Not again. Not again. She took a breath, slowly. One. Two. Three. The panic started to subside. "My dad. My mom." The tears started again. "I ... There's a reason I can't go home. I couldn't take it anymore. After my brother moved out, it was only a few months. I really couldn't take it anymore." Raven kept rocking. "I was ten. I said something and dad just hit me. I had a black eye for two weeks. I'd ask mom for something -- food, a snack, if I could watch TV. She usually said whatever, but sometimes she'd pinch my arm so hard it'd bleed and tell me to fuck off and take care of myself. "My brother moved out when I was fifteen. I left a few months later. I stayed with him sometimes. When he had a place to stay that let him have visitors." Jennifer sat up and scooted closer to Raven, gently putting an arm around her. "I guess that's it. I couldn't take it. I got smacked around, so I left. Yeah." Jennifer squeezed Raven. "Oh, honey. Geez." Raven shrugged. "Whatever." "No, really. Geez. I... I think I would have done the same thing." "Hey, can I have that tissue?" "Oh, sure. Here." Jennifer thrust it toward her. Raven patted her eyes. "I don't cry much. I swear, it's been years. You just shut it off, you know?" Jennifer nodded and sighed. "I wish I didn't." She paused for a long while. "You want a hug?" Jennifer asked. Raven nodded slowly. Jennifer smiled a little and pulled her close. "You've never let anyone even nearly this close before, have you?" Raven shook her head. No, and I hate it a little. You make me feel so weak, she thought. But I can't stop. "Um, Raven?" "Yeah?" Jennifer grabbed Raven's shoulders and pulled her closer. she whispered, "You didn't skate past us earlier just to give those two girls an extra scare. You were totally checking me out." Nailed. Called out. "Yeah, so?" "I like it." Raven didn't know what to do. She was used to being able to call the shots, and lie her way out of things if not. Fuck her. She struggled and Jennifer took her hands off of her shoulders. "It's okay. You can say no." Raven's mind raced. She let Jennifer into her private space. She wasn't sure what to do. She'd always managed to end up on some guy's couch or bed, or some girl she met. She'd work her way into their life for a little while, long enough to have a place to stay for a week or a day, and then be gone. Nobody had ever sought her out. She didn't know how to make the second move. Jennifer touched her hand gently. Raven started a little. "Just let go. It's okay." Raven tried to relax, and found it harder work than ever. She thought about skating a bit, and the habit, the smooth flow of wheels on sidewalk calmed her a little. The tension under Jennifer's hand melted away. I don't know what to do, she thought. Jennifer picked her hand up and put he over her heart. The warm skin pulsed gently. She thought she could hear Jennifer smile, and imagining what it looked like, she relaxed a little more. Jennifer pulled her back and down on top of her.